For Want of A Child

Usually I am very upbeat and positive with my posts. I strive to be positive because there is so much negativity in the world. I want to encourage others who are going through rough times and need to read something hopeful and reassuring. Today I am the one who needs hope and reassurance. It has been my  desire to add more children to our family for the last year or so. Actually it started before that, but because I was not married at the time and didn’t know is I would ever be married again, I brushed that desire aside. When I voice my desire to others, most people say “why would you ever want more?” “Be thankful for what you have.” And I am thankful, very thankful I already have 3 wonderful healthy boys. If I had waited to have children until my late twenties and early thirties like many of my friends have done, I would not have been able to have any.

Many people will say “There is a surplus of orphans in the world that need loving homes.” This is very true and something I have prayed about. The cost to adopt 2 of these orphans is nearly as much as fertility treatments and surrogacy fees, and honestly, if they cost about the same I would like to have a biological child with my husband. Maybe if I had not met him when we were 7, maybe if I had not developed a close friendship at camp when we were eight, and maybe if I had not spent years praying for the right man to enter my life after a painful divorce--and then have it be him--maybe I would feel differently about things.
 

My hysterectomy at 27 years of age was a lifesaving surgery and I don’t regret having it done for a moment, because had I not had it, I would not be here today. I had grown 2 baseball sized fibroid tumors in less than 5 years. My OB Doctor had never seen anything like them and while they were not cancerous, the last one almost caused me to bleed to death (hence the hysterectomy). Having the surgery has enabled me to enjoy the last 4 years with my boys, meet and marry the man of my dreams and give God the glory for it all.

My greatest sadness comes from the fact that, without a miracle, we will not be able to afford to expand our family in the next year or so. We can raise some, but not all the estimated $50,000-$60,000 we will need in that timeframe. We have a part of the money already but since we are trying to avoid going into debt over this, there is no way to do it in the limited period of time we are working with. We do not want to be bringing up young children into our retirement years. We want to raise them properly and give them many good experiences while we are young and have the energy level to do so. I give giant kudos to those mothers in their mid to upper 40’s who seem to have energy to spare. I have not been blessed with that, but I have been blessed with a desire to have more children to raise up to be God fearing, loving and considerate of others, as well as good members of society.
 

From my research so far, the cost to get started is $17,000-$20,000. I found out yesterday that my insurance will absolutely zero on fertility treatment costs. Beyond that are surrogate costs and agency fees.  I have found a few places offering grants. They seem a long shot at best since they only offer 1 or 2 grants a year, and many are limited to a certain area. Being as we live in a small city in Montana doesn’t help our situation either. We don’t have a Macy’s, or even an Olive Garden. It’s the (breathtakingly beautiful) boonies, folks!

I have done my best to put my trust in God and believe that if he wants us to have a child He will do it. He brought my husband and I together in the most miraculous of ways and then provided a beautiful place to live in just a little over a year’s time. I know God can work quickly when He wants to. I know He can bring the right people into our lives to help us with this process. While we wait for an answer to our baby dreams, we are planning on opening up our home to foster young children. It really is our family's dream to benefit others and be a blessing to those around us. I ask for your prayers in this matter, specifically that I find peace no matter what happens, that I can relax and not worry about the amount of money (to God money is no object), and if you would, please share this with your friends and family and ask them to do the same.

I will update and revise this post as we get more information. Thank you for praying for a miracle.

Rolling in Dough

My children are just getting up and around for the day and already we have oats, flour, oil, sugar and molasses out on the counter. It’s time for our bread business to kick it into high gear! Each child clamors to be the first to add their ingredient. They watch eagerly as we boil the water to cook the oats and then again as I wait for the water temperature to cool so I can add the yeast. Their favorite part is right around the corner, you see.  After adding the rest of the flour and waiting for the mixer to combine and knead the dough to the right consistency, it’s time to divide the dough into 6 bunches--affectionately called “dough babies”-- and punch, or “burp” out the air bubbles (about 8 good solid thumps per lump of dough). A mini stampede of fists pound over the dough, and at the end not an air-bubble is in sight. Smiles wreathe the faces of the three triumphant bubble poppers as I step in to rescue the “babies” for the next stage. Quickly and with a precision mastered from years of bread making, I roll them into neat loaves and plop them gently into their baking pans or “beds”. We then cover them lovingly with kitchen towels and leave them to rise. This whole process has taken no more than 35 minutes.

You may remember a few weeks ago I wrote about how I was discussing budgets and managing finances with the boys. A few days after that I decided it was time to put some of this financial education into action. We would start a bread baking business! It sounds fairly simple but it teaches a number of different skills  that often are not covered until college.  It demonstrates economics, accounting, and good work ethic among other things. Some of you who have known me for years may remember than I had my own bread business when I was young. Before I first started I had no idea about business expenses and setting aside money to purchase the ingredients I would need. I was surprised that practically 30% of my income went to buying ingredients! Then there was the cost to drive into town to deliver it and finally, after my business expenses had been handled, there was tithe on my increase. In the end I got a little less than $6 for every batch of bread I baked. Broken down further, I made about $2.00/hour. Not too shabby when you are 11 years old. I used that money to buy bridles, halters, lead ropes and a saddle for my horses over the 2 ½ years that I ran my business.

As the delicious smell of bread fills our home, I am again reminded of the empowerment I felt in my early teen years. Running a business meant I didn’t have to solely rely on my small allowance or special chore money anymore. For the first time I was in complete control of my purchases. If I didn’t bake bread then it would take me longer to save up to buy a desired item—and I had no one to blame but myself for that. I want my sons to enjoy the same sort of satisfaction from their accomplishments. I want them to know they are capable of doing whatever they set out to do--and if they ever hit a patch of hard luck, they can always put their bread making skills to good use.

Vegan Chocolate Peanut Butter Pudding

I made this the other day and oh my it was good! Unfortunately the batteries in my camera have died so I’m going to have to post pictures later. Just believe me when I say you can’t really tell the difference between this and a pudding made with milk.

This is not my picture, but this one looks just like the recipe I came up with.
Thanks to Google for the image! I'll put one of my own in as soon as I can.

Vegan Chocolate Peanut Butter Pudding

1 12 oz. package of Mori-Nu silken tofu, drained and dried as much as possible.
3/4 cup Vegan Chocolate chips
2 Tbsp. Adams 100% Natural Peanut butter
3 Tbsp. Real Maple Syrup

 Directions:

Process the tofu in food processor until creamy and smooth.
Melt the chocolate chips in a glass bowl in the microwave, or in a double boiler over the stove.
Add the chocolate, peanut butter and maple syrup to the tofu mixture and process until well blended.
Pour into dishes and chill in the refrigerator for approximately. 1 hr. If you want it thicker leave it in for 2-3 hours.

Serves  4.

 

 

Balanced Budgeting For Boys (Or The Time To Start Saving For A Ferrari is When You Are 4)

It's never too young to start teaching children the value of money and acquainting them with the family budget. I was taught the importance of saving and living within your means from a very early age and I have done my best to instill that in the boys. For class today we did a section on money management.

I began by handing them  each $1000 in play money (5 $100 bills, 6 $50 bills, 5 $20, 5 $10 bills and 10 $5 bills) bills. I used the Melissa & Doug Play Money Set. I then asked them what kinds of things they thought their money could be spent on. They came up with a few items on their own:

·         food

·         clothing

·         power

·         car expenses

·         house payment/rent

 

We talked about a few other expenses that people often have such as phone and internet service, car insurance, money for new clothes and toiletries.  At this point I pulled up the excel spread sheet that I had put together for our class and we started playing a budget game. The goal was to not go in debt and if at all possible, have some extra money left over that could be put into savings at the end of the month. This way they could save up and then buy something they really wanted. Everyone decided they wanted a Ferrari. Of course! They’re boys! What’s not to like about a fast sports car that costs several hundred thousand dollars and will raise their insurance rates to heights that rival Mt. Everest? But I digress. I told them they’d have to save every extra dollar they could!  The house payment or rent was due at the first of the month, 10% of their total money went to tithe and $100 was to be put into savings. I had each child count out the amount of money that was required and we put it back in the  money box or set it aside. I would remind them that certain bills needed paying and let them know they could choose not to pay the bill if they wanted, but there would be negative consequences down the road if they did not pay it. For instance, if they didn’t pay for electricity/gas then they wouldn’t have phone or internet, not to mention light and heat. Heat is very important, especially in Montana, in January. They got the picture.

 

As each bill was due they saw their pile of money, which looked like a lot at first, steadily disappearing.
They really started noticing that money was going fast after using up their $100 and $50 dollar bills. Then it was time to make decisions. If they spent money on entertainment or eating out they might not have enough money to pay car insurance. And being pulled over and ticketed for not having car insurance is expensive! It happened to me once when I was a teenager. I didn’t have the updated insurance form in the car at the time (even though my insurance was paid up and current), but of course the officer needed proof that I was telling him the truth. The fine was for $107. My insurance cost each month was $50. I resolved it at the courthouse a couple days later, but I’ve never forgotten to carry current insurance in my vehicle!

Anyhow, after we arrived at the end of the month the boys had about $5 that they could roll over for the next month or put it into savings. Just for reference, 4 years old is not too young to start saving for a Ferrari. Maybe by the time he hits 50 and has his midlife crisis he’ll be able to afford it…?

We played through a couple of months and I tweaked the spreadsheet to make the game proceed  more smoothly. The boys compared this lesson to paying out money in Monopoly, a game all 3 enjoy. It was a little over my 4 year olds head, but he has been sitting in on the older boy’s math lessons so he knows how to count by 5’s, 10’s and so on. It was nice to see them “get” that they had a finite amount of money. If they didn’t budget in the right things, they could be walking to work, or worse, miss work because it was too far to walk there, and then they couldn’t afford to pay anything else.

In the age of consumerism, entitlement and overspending it’s a wise idea to educate children from an early age how to be budget conscience and take responsibility for their purchase decisions. If you would like to download the budget spreadsheet we used, you can do so here:

·         Budget Spreadsheet for Excel 10.

·         Budget Spreadsheet for Excel 97-2003

 

Hover your cursor over the cells with a red triangle in the corner to get more information. This was
designed to teach young children (6-9 yrs) so most of this is fairly common knowledge for adults.

I had my husband, who is an excel whiz, help me on some of the formulas this afternoon. It should be fairly easy to use and only require a rudimentary knowledge of Excel (such as double click to edit text in a cell). If you mess something up, you can exit without saving and then reopen the program. Hooray technology! Now, I own Excel 2010, it has a few spiffy features that Excel 2003 does not have. Therefore, if you download the spreadsheet saved in compatibility mode for Excel 97-2003 it may not quite look the same as the 2010 version. Hopefully the functionality is still there for you folks though!

An additional note, I locked the spreadsheet so that unintended modifications will be minimized. You can still modify the budget categories and the amounts you want to allot for each, but the totals and calculated savings should pop up an error message if you try to change something in those cells. If you need to get in and modify things further, the password to do so is: budget (all lower-case). Hope that helps. If you use it and enjoy it let me know in the comments. :) I'm afraid I can't do much troubleshooting with this if you have problems. I don't use Excel regularly and I'm a little rusty, but I'll do my best!

Also, even though I have a few extra suggested categories at the bottom of the page I did not include everything that might be in your budget. You can add things like a cable TV expense or car payment if you like. You can also adjust the paycheck to be more than $1000, but the point to make is that they will not be able to afford everything they want right at the beginning. I wanted to use simple math because I was trying to get a point across about smart budgeting. I was not concerned with more complex addition and subtraction in this case. You may change those numbers to suit your needs and those of your child though. If you run through this scenario with them a few times and accrue a good balance in the savings account (this is where the play money comes in), then you can talk about special purchases such as a new TV or in my childrens cases, a new Ferrari. ;)

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Vegan Pumpkin Pie Filling

Here is the vegan pumpkin pie filling that my friends and relatives rave over whenever I make it. I found the original recipe online a few years ago and have modified things slightly.

 

Vegan Pumpkin Pie Filling
2 cups canned pumpkin or pumpkin puree
1 cup organic soymilk
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup cornstarch*
1/2 tablespoon molasses
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground ginger

Bake at 350 for 45-50 minutes.

*To prevent clumping, the cornstarch can be mixed in with the soymilk before being added to the rest of the ingredients. I have also found it can be added slowly to the pumpkin/soymilk mixture if you have a good wire whisk (cheap whisks need not apply).

I have not yet found a good vegan pie crust recipe, so I use this one when I make this pie, with a couple of modifications. I use whole wheat pastry flour instead of white flour and add about 1 tsp sugar with the other ingredients.

If you have any suggestions for vegan crusts please leave them in the comments. :)

 

Easy Zucchini-Carrot Rice

Another simple recipe that will be a tasty addition to family dinners. It should be possible to substitute quinoa for rice if you so desire.

 

 

 

Easy Zucchini-Carrot Rice

2 Cups rice cooked

2 carrots shredded

2 small zucchini cubed

3 cloves of garlic minced

1/2 onion finely sliced

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp basil

1 tsp paprika

2 Tbsp olive oil

1/2 Cup water

 

Directions:

Combine veggies, onions, garlic and seasonings with olive oil and water in frying pan/wok and cook/stir-fry  on medium heat until nearly done.

 

Combine rice and other ingredients in greased 9x13 baking dish. Cover and bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

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Laundered To Distraction

So I had this really good idea over the weekend. I would get my husband to help me lug in the bins of children’s winter clothes from the shed so that I could tackle switching out seasonal clothes first thing on Monday morning. Ahh the best laid plans… 

After breakfast and worship this morning I realize that there are several loads of laundry that still need washing (I have been sick the last few days and have not kept on top of it as much as I usually do). I figure it’s best to start with all the clothing clean so I don’t have to make individual trips back and forth to the shed with a vagrant shirt or pair of shorts for the next couple weeks (not that it takes me that long to get laundry done, but because each child folds and puts away their own laundry it may take me that long to catch a “stray”). Since it is a sunny day I sent the children outside to play shortly after worship was finished, and of course after the first load of laundry is done and I’m gathering my motivation to dive into the huge pile of clothes, they are cold and want to come inside to play. I decide this would be a great time to start a fire since I notice that it is a bit chilly inside (although that could be because someone didn’t close the door all the way when they went out to play). After babysitting the fire and making sure it takes off and doesn’t die, I have another load of laundry ready to come out of the dryer. Folding warm clothes helps me to be able to feel my fingers again (probably a good thing since I will need them to work for me while sorting all the clothes that are still patiently waiting in the kids bedroom). *sigh*

The last load of laundry is finally in the washer and it’s time for lunch. Where did this morning go? And more importantly, where did my motivation go? Maybe I left it at one of the homeschooling blogs I was perusing this morning while waiting for laundry to dry… I think I need to go look again.

 I’ll be right back….